7/5/08

Feeling old?

Scotch with two drops of water. A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, 'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today...' The bartender says, 'Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me.' As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, 'I would like to buy you a drink, too.' The old woman says, 'Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.' 'Coming up,' says the bartender As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, 'I would like to buy you one, too.' The old woman says, 'Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water.' 'Coming right up,' the bartender says. As he gives her the drink, he says, 'Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch wit h only two drops of water?' The old woman replies, 'Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue.' ------------------------------------------------------------------- 'OLD' IS WHEN... Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!' 'OLD' IS WHEN... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot. 'OLD' IS WHEN... A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door, 'OLD' IS WHEN... Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. 'OLD' IS WHEN... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. 'OLD' IS WHEN... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police 'OLD' IS WHEN... 'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take any fiber today. 'OLD' IS WHEN... 'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot. 'OLD' IS WHEN... An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom. AND............. 'OLD' IS WHEN... You are not sure these are jokes? ;)

7 comments:

  • Canucklehead said....

    Loving the old lady joke - awesome!

  • Anonymous

    LOL! Thanks for the laugh... I enjoyed the jokes!

  • Anonymous

    Those are funny. Glad I'm awhiles away before I am "old"

  • Anonymous

    To answer your last question, I'm not sure if those are jokes or not!!! *snicker* Only half of that snicker is a real snicker. Isn't that sad? Nope. Funny.

  • Anonymous

    I can understand holding your water. Just try not to sneeze when it comes your way, whoooeee, where's the powder room?

  • Anonymous

    Well well! I thought I was getting OLD, but after reading this, I see that I still have a ways to go.

    Thanks, chilly! ;)

  • Anonymous

    Ah Shucks! Guess I'm old..............

    ê¿ê

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