Headlines from the year 2029

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California .

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Texico & Mexifornia's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iraq  still closed off; physicists estimate it will take
at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by
Al-Ligeria. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered
nation!

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all lighters.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia, Texico and Floruba.

Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States

Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 41,532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative, (via featherbed, soft music & sleeping pills).

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, Christian words and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030 .

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.

Now, send this to whomever you want and as many as you want, then, guess what....NOTHING will happen. No miracles, no money, absolutely nothing, except you might make someone smile or very very scared.

(and now this one is for every man in the world)
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.


I Love This Country!

It's The Government That Scares Me!

LOL! Who sets and thinks up this stuff! But you gotta luv them Japanese! LOL