Some guys just never learn.

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as
I was flipping channels. She asked, "What's on TV?"

I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started...

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary. She said, "I want something shiny that goes
from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her
someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station...

And then the fight started....

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply
for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for
my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets
and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that
I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt
revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for
me and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience
at the Social Security office.

She said, 'you should have dropped your pants. You might have
gotten disability, too.'

And then the fight started...

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion,
and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she
sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took
to drinking  right after we split up those many years ago, and
I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...



  • Øyvind said....

    :D I loved the scale going 0 to 150 in 3 seconds.

    What does dust mean? Like buzz off?

  • chilly said....

    Hello Øyvind!
    Nope, the dust is, collected on the TV. LOL! He's saying the wife hasn't dusted the TV in a while. ;)
    Thanks for stopping in! :)

  • *lynne* said....

    bwahahahahaa this a great collection of jokes :) the last one took me by surprise too - well done!

  • Margaret said....

    You know, that very thing happened to my husband just last month! He didn't drop his pants either...


  • LadyBanana said....

    hahahaha.. I like all of those, very good, thanks!

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